圍著自己轉的世界

　　兩名到德國旅遊的中國人走入一間高級餐廳，並點了十道菜，他們的刀叉在盤碟上翻來覆去，但每碟只吃幾口，然後埋單轉身走人。待應見狀禮貌地請他們把剩菜帶走，但被他們拒絕，只好召警察到場，最後，旅客被控告浪費的罪名，被告憤言：「你們憑甚麼拉人？我有的是錢，我喜歡亂花是我的事，與你何干？」

 

　　「錢是你花的，但你浪費的是我們的資源！我們不會把好的食物當成垃圾，你在我們的國家就要守我們的法！」如果他們沒有點這些菜式，便不會用上這些食材，沒用上的食材經收集後可每星期兩次分配予有需要的人，不過，當食材一經烹調又被吃了一部分，浪費者便要付出高昂的代價。罰款抵銷了處理廚餘上的花費，最重要的是用來殺一儆百，宣揚不要浪費食物的訊息。德國這條律例或聽來荒誕，但是合乎公眾利益。

 

　　以希臘為例，國人不太關心社群。他們討厭工作及繳稅。父母死後兒孫仍可領養老金一段長時間，故一戶的養老金可以持續發放數百年。每個人都認為國家出問題，責任只在政府，希臘人與身俱來享有國家的財富但無須履行責任或義務，結果，四千多年來的光輝歷史與文明終淪入破產邊緣。

 

　　財政上，我們或較希臘人寬裕，但社交上我們一樣以為世界圍著自己轉。升降機內的人明明看到外邊的人欲進來卻按掣關門的情況屢見不鮮，誰會關心其他搭客。同樣地，人們會在公眾地方高談闊論擾人清幽。又以洗手間為例，無論是在多新、多豪華的大廈內都有衛生情況惡劣的洗手間，只因無人顧及其他使用者的感受。今天，學生因為畢業後不能置業而走出來抗議，這個上車夢我們當年剛畢業時都完成不了，但我們相信要達到目標，需要的是拼勁而非抗議。

 

　　究竟由何時開始我們以為世界是圍著自己轉？亞洲人因為看重互相倚靠的人際關係，確實較能做到推己及人；美國人講個人主義，較難要他們代入他人所想，他們推崇的社交態度顯然是捨人為己。試舉例，美國人愛用看來派頭較大的職銜，隨街都是副主席，公司只有自己一人的自顧人士會稱自己為總裁。亞洲人通常較謙遜，用「經理」這類派頭較小的職銜，或者是取經自英國人。在日本遇上「副經理」時要小心言行，因為他們通常較美國的副主席或總裁更位高權重。即使是國家領導人習近平，職銜都是總書記而已。

 

　　媒體的影響力可扭曲錯誤的觀念成為流行風潮，當中以美國媒體為甚。不知何時或如何發生，在時尚的虛偽包裝及被授權下，媒體把想法滲入我們的世界，自我中心的概念亦如是。無可否認地，同樣的傳訊渠道為我們送來很多有益的事物，但我們必要警惕，不要因而匆忙地接收他人的想法，捨棄自己的核心價值，為發展了只有二百年的文化放棄歷練五千多年的文明，並要懂得把是非黑白分得清清楚楚。

 

　　我們的文化不提倡自我中心。還有，在失敗愛情關係中，世界圍著你轉的想法往往是最致命的。

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

Being Self Centered

 

　　Two Chinese tourists in Germany went into an expensive restaurant and ordered 10 plates of food, stirred and ate a bit from each plate, paid the bill and stood up to leave. The waiter asked them politely to please take the leftovers with them. When they refused, the police was called in. They were arrested on the grounds of being wasteful. “ Why? I have lots of money, I enjoy squandering !!!  I can afford it, it’s none of your business !!” yelled the angry tourists.

 

　　“ It may be your money, but it is our resources you are wasting! “ “We DO NOT throw good food away in the garbage, and you are in our country!” Had they not ordered these food, these would not have been cooked, and raw leftovers would have been collected and delivered to the needy twice a week. But since the food was cooked and partially eaten, they were heavily fined. The fine goes to cover the costs of re-processing. Above all, the fines have been put in place as a deterrent, to discourage people from being wasteful. The German law may sound preposterous, but it makes a lot of sense for the common good of a collective community .

 

　　Greeks for instance, do not care much about their community. They dislike working and detest paying tax even more. Pensions go on for hundreds of years because the children and grand children would continue drawing the pension long after their parents and grandparents are dead. Everyone seems to think that the country’s problems belong solely to the government, and that Greek individuals have the god given right to enjoy the country’s wealth without obligation or duty. Hence 4000 years of glorious history and civilization ends up on the verge of  bankruptcy. 

 

　　Financially, we may be better off than the Greeks, but socially we are just as self centered.  How often do we see people pushing the button and closing the elevator door just when they see someone coming… We don’t care about the next passenger. By the same token, people talking loudly in public areas disturbing the peace of others … Take a look inside a Chinese toilet anywhere, however new or opulent a building may be, toilets in China are notoriously filthy. Simply because the person who has used the toilet doesn’t care about the next user. Today’s students protest because they cannot afford to buy an apartment after graduation. Neither could we.  Only in those days, we believed in working hard and not in protesting. 

 

　　Since when have we become so self centered? Asian cultures are actually more empathetic, we emphasize interdependence. The American cultures have difficulty inferring another person’s perspectives, because they emphasize individualism, their key social attitude is to elevate oneself at the expense of others. For instance, Americans like to use big titles, everybody is a Vice President and a self employed man with one staff calls himself CEO. Asians are usually more modest, we use smaller titles such as “Managers”, a British legacy perhaps. Be careful how you treat “Assistant Managers” in Japan, they are usually a lot more powerful than VPs or CEOs in the States. Xi Jinpeng is for instance, “only” a General Secretary. 

 

　　Behold, the power of the media can profligate wrong ideas to be fashionable, and American media is extremely powerful. Without knowing how or when, their ideas have been infiltrating into our world, under the disguise of being modern and empowering. Being self centered is neither. Undeniably, a great deal of good has come through the same channels, we must however be wary not to negate our core values and substitute in a hurry, our 5000 years of civilization by their 200 years , and learn to draw a line at what is right and what is wrong. 

 

　　Being self centered is not our culture.  It is also by far the most detrimental cause for failure in relationships. 

 

 

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