在芬蘭語中，pulma是指「麻煩」，但同一詞在愛沙尼亞語中則是「婚姻」的意思。當芬蘭人說自己有麻煩的時候，愛沙尼亞人就會以為對方要結婚而說「恭喜」！很多笑話都是在我們不專心傾聽下衍生出來的，而在這些笑話背後，當然是隱藏著一些真正的問題。

　　在五種感官當中，其中一項便是聽覺，聽覺是用來接收外界所發出的聲音；當耳朵探測到聲波振動後，通過外耳和中耳組成的傳音系統傳遞到內耳，經內耳的環能作用將聲波的機械能轉變為聽覺神經上的神經衝動，後者傳送到大腦皮層聽覺中樞而產生的主觀感覺。所以你只要有一雙健全的耳朵，沒有任何聽力障礙的話，基本上你會清楚聽到外界所發出的聲音。就像觸覺一樣，聽覺除了要有良好聽力的耳朵外，更要有耳感，即是要對外界的活動粒子和頻率靈敏，而觸覺和聽覺都是屬於「機械式感官能力」。

　　而「聆聽」就是另一回事了，聆聽是一種學習得來的溝通技巧，裝作很容易，實施有難度。我們要聆聽，來接收信息，了解、學習，甚至作享受之用。這樣多的實習，應該很老練吧？非也。舉舉例子，我們叫寶寶不要哭，寶寶會繼續哭；叫孩子不要亂跑，他會到處跑；叫青少年勿打架，他仍與別人打起來；叫男友/老公勿抽煙，他繼續抽；叫爺爺不要叨嘮，他仍要叨嘮一番。就有如人體內有種會自動啟動「拒絕聆聽按鈕」的機制，從始至終，抗拒到底。明顯我們基本上都不愛聆聽。

　　研究發現，我們聆聽後，實在「收到」的內容，只有百分之二十五至五十。而最「逆耳」的，自然就是「忠言」。「聆聽」有承認別人是對、自己是錯的含意，這種感覺極度複雜，因受者未必喜歡或尊重施者，又或許受者視自己的地位比施者崇高，儘管對方的忠言全對，錯綜的情緒與感受則做成聆聽的障礙。此外，去承認自己一直以來堅持的看法可能是錯的，又或許自己倔強的信念未必全對，另一個觀點興角度亦未嘗不可，都是個震驚而不容易接受的啟示。「聆聽」需要專注、決心和練習。到位的聆聽，更需要謙虛、智慧、務實的態度，良好的分析力、及寬宏大量的心胸。

　　當與其他人交流時，我們通常都會等著機會「插嘴」，而不是專心聽別人所說。有些人聽話不能專心，有些則「選擇性」聽自己想聽的說話。當公司的員工和管理層不進行溝通，罷工對公司及員工都無好處。當政府不聽市民訴求，人民示威令社會動盪。當夫妻溝通不良，會導致婚姻破裂。很明顯，聆聽技巧對我們有一定的重要性。優秀的聆聽可改善生產力與人際關係、減少衝突、加強大家的了解和合作精神。

如何聆聽？

　　要做一個良好的聆聽者，首先要學習的不是單單留意別人的說話字句，而是去了解對方想帶出甚麼的內容信息。聽時要留神，不要分心，避免在腦中即時構造反駁的論據。不要急促審判，鑒定別人厭煩無聊，盡量專心，否則你將會發覺他人所說的內容，與你分神時所聽的實在有很大的出入！

　　有些頑固的壞習慣會拖累人生，執迷不悟會令人生更糟糕！雖然學習聆聽不是容易的事，拒絕聆聽則容易得多，但大家要記住，做一個好的聆聽者會有可觀的回報的，那些回報除了令自己與別人的溝通和關係變得更好外，最大回報是學會做個更好的人。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

The Ability To Listen

　　The word "pulma" means "trouble" in Finnish, but the same word means "wedding" in Estonian. When a Finn says he's in trouble, the Estonian says :"Congratulations! "... There are many such jokes which make fun of our inability to listen, but beneath the jokes, a real problem rings true.

　　Hearing is one of our 5 basic senses, an auditory perception – vibrations are detected by the ear and transduced into nerve impulses that are perceived by the temporal lobe of the brain. As long as you have two good ears and there is no impairment to the auditory system, you can pretty much hear everything. Like “touch”, audition requires sensitivity to the movement of molecules in the world outside the organism. Both hearing and touch are types of mechanosensation.

　　To “ listen” however, is something else. It is a communication technique, a learned skill, easy to feign, immensely difficult to do. We listen to obtain information, to understand, to learn, and for enjoyment. Given all this listening we do, one would think we’d be good at it ! The truth is, most of us are not. We tell the baby not to cry, the baby cries. We tell the child not to run, he runs. We tell the boy not to fight, he fights. We tell the man not to smoke, he smokes …We tell grandpa not to nag, he nags. There must be some sort of built in mechanisms inside us humans which trigger the “Don’t Listen Buttons” from our cradles to our graves. We basically don’t like to listen.

　　Research suggests that we remember only 25 to 50% of what we hear. The most difficult listening of all is to well meant advice. Listening often means admitting you are wrong and someone else is right. This is a convoluted response because you may not like, or perceive yourself to be superior to the advice giver which though irrelevant, would negate the validity of his advice however pertinent. Your reluctance to challenge your own infallibility could likewise be insurmountable – to admit that what you have been believing all along is in fact incorrect or has an alternative perspective is mind boggling. It takes concentration, determination & practice to listen. It takes modesty, intelligence, pragmatism, an analytical mind and the magnanimity of heart and soul to listen well.

　　When interacting, people often “wait to speak” rather than listening attentively. They might also be distracted, or choose to adopt “selective hearing” . When workers and management do not listen to each other, strikes cost tremendous loss of revenue which in turn cost jobs. When governments do not listen to their people, street marches lead to social instability. When couples do not listen to each other, failed marriages lead to divorces…Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, we improve productivity, personal relationships, reduce conflicts, strengthen cooperation, and foster understanding

How To Listen

　　The way to become a better listener is to make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that someone is saying but try to understand the complete message being sent. Start by paying full attention to the speaker, allow no distraction and refrain from forming counter arguments in your head that you’ll make when the other person stops speaking. Don’t get bored, and don’t lose focus. If you don't,you'll find what someone says to you and what you hear can be amazingly different! 

　　Old habits die hard, set ideas die even harder - It is so difficult to learn to listen and so easy not to. But good listening pays handsome dividends, not only do we become better communicators, nurture better relationships, we become better people.