22/05/2012
點解咁多香港女人無老公?(1)
Mei Ling
Mei Ling
廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。
Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。
Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。
著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships鑽石媒人Mei Ling
著名環境科學家Dana Meadows曾於《地球村》(Global Village)報告指出:以地球上每100個人來計算,男女比例為52個女人比48個男人。所以,不同國家都面對男女比例輕微失衡的情況,當然,某些國家失衡的問題較為嚴重。香港人口普查的報告顯示,「男性人口短缺」的問題並不嚴重,實際上,男女比例的差異甚至乎是少於社會各界所講的。因此,假如不少香港女性很難找老公的話,我們可以總結:男女比例不平均並不是主因,而是因為太多其他因素,讓我們嘗試歸納有那些原因:
1. 高樓價
香港人普遍希望可以買樓,多於租樓。一對男女決定要結婚時,女方會期望男方買一間體面的公寓,即使不需要男方支付全部費用,至少亦需支付首期,并能保證他們未來的生活質素不被削弱。現今香港樓價高企,就成了男人拖延成家立家的有力原因。
2.女強人
香港女性通常接受良好教育,擁有很高的成就,她們聰明、高效率和令人生畏,偏偏這些都不是惹男人喜愛的特質。一般來說,她們在學校有傑出的表現,工作亦然,她們在職場中擁有更多的權力和賺錢的能力。可惜,根深柢固的大男子主義,使男士們抗拒事業成功的女性。因此,他們都偏愛找一些年輕、可愛、溫柔的女人。
3.錯誤的「好女孩」觀念
在固有的思想中,「先專心學業,再建立成功的事業,讓父母感到驕傲」這個信念一直被灌輸為一個「好女孩」應有的特質;而「壞女孩」則會談論男孩、花太多時間在鏡子面前,是一種「頑皮」、以及徒勞無功的行為。不少女孩都努力扮演「好女孩」的角色,避免做「壞女孩」。結果,「好女孩」當然找到一份頂尖的工作;但「壞女孩」就能找到一個頂尖的老公。
4.太過西化or 不夠西化
不少家境富裕的家庭都會把孩子送往海外留學,然後,甚至有愈來愈多舉家移民的例子。
當我們發現現實並不如想像中可怕,出國的年青人就陸續回流。她們挾著不少海外的文化經驗回到香港,有美國的、有加拿大的、有澳洲的,亦有英國的。她們的英語程度比中文還要好,她們一邊嚼香口膠、唱RAP、跳鋼管舞,但她們同時相信吉日、風水大師和中藥。使亞洲男人會覺得她們太過西化;但白種男人又嫌她們不夠西化。(待續)
(按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)
Why are there so many women in Hong Kong without husbands? ( Part 1)
According to the leading environmental scientist Dana Meadows’ calculations in her “Global Village” report, for every 100 people on earth, the correct ratio would be 52 women to 48 men, so yes, there is in general, a slight gender imbalance the world over, with the shortage of men more acute in some countries than in others. According to the Hong Kong census report, our shortage of men is not acute; in fact, the difference is a lot less severe than the social impact suggests. Therefore one may conclude that if many women in Hong Kong are having difficulties finding husbands, gender imbalance is neither the only nor the major reason, but a lot of other factors must be coming into play. Let’s try to look at some of the other reasons:
1) High cost of apartments
Hong Kong people prefer to buy than to rent their residential premises. A groom is expected to be able to offer a new home to his bride – even if that is not yet fully paid for, he should in the very least have made a reasonable down payment on a decent apartment with an affordable mortgage which will not cripple their future lives together. Apartment prices being what they are, this is a very valid reason for many men to procrastinate.
2) Strong women
Well-educated Hong Kong women are usually high achievers. They are smart, efficient and a tad intimidating – not exactly qualities that men would find endearing. Typically, they excel in school, bring results at work, get power jobs, and earn pots of money… and many become consumed by their careers. Too much testosterone for most men, who would prefer less powerful, less successful women, who are younger, prettier, softer… any day.
3) Wrong upbringing
For generations, we have been programmed to think that concentrating on our studies first and then building ourselves fabulous careers would do our parents proud, and that was what “good girls” do. We did all that. Talking about boys during school years was “naughty”, and spending too much time in front of the mirror was “vain”. Well, we did none of that. Sure enough, all the good girls got top grades and top jobs. But it’s the “naughty” girls who got themselves top husbands!
4) Mixed culture
For generations, well to do families would send their children for education overseas. Later on, even more left as family immigration became popular.
Then we discovered to a mixture of relief and chagrin that “communist rule” was not as horrid as had been feared, and as life in Hong Kong continues to prosper, children who went away began coming home in droves. Only, they have come home bringing with them mixed bags of cultural experiences that they have picked up from their adopted countries. Some American, some Canadian, some Australian, some British… They may speak better English than they do Chinese, chew gum, rap and pole dance, but they still believe in auspicious days, Feng Shui masters & Chinese herbal tea… Asian men find these women too westernized.. And Caucasian men find them not westernized enough… (to be continued)
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